Personal Blog by Rhonda Crowdis Hardisty

115b2304832dbc579c4aa946e65f0f98This blog is the place where I come when I feel safe enough to share a piece of what is on my heart. I think that’s why I don’t come here often. For me, it is so much easier to ignore the things that I am not comfortable facing. It’s like when I was a teenager and changed lanes at the last minute when I realized my lane was not going the direction I needed to go, and in the process of that change I clipped the bumper of another vehicle: I didn’t stop. I just kept driving, thinking that they would somehow go away. They didn’t. They stayed right behind me until I pulled over. This is not the only time I have ever waited for something to go away, like the salesman at the front door ringing the bell. I know if I wait long enough, he will go away. Sometimes when someone asks me a questions I don’t want to answer, or maybe don’t know exactly how to respond to with a quick short answer, I wait for them to go away.  I just want them to stop waiting for a response. I think it’s a defense; if I ignore it, it will go away. Unfortunately, important things don’t go away. God’s call on your life, it doesn’t go away. It is always near, and ready for you to pick it up and act on it. It is near your heart and in your soul even if you don’t want it to be. I know that mine is connected to writing, but I like to think that since I’m not a great writer there is very little that God can do with my writing. There are so many other people who have powerful words to share; what I have is small in comparison. It’s almost embarrassing to consider myself a writer, even as a novice. I was once a sad lonely teen who wrote from the heart about a lot of things, but as I have grown older I have moved on to stuffing my feelings down rather than writing them out. Writing them out often made me cry, and I don’t like to cry. I don’t want to deal with them. I feel like they are better off left alone. No one gets hurt that way, let alone me. However, God is calling me to a purpose that can only be fulfilled by my listening to Him and his calling. He is always near and often calls my name followed by phrases like “read my word” or “just write what I say to your heart” or “I am in control of what happens when you follow my directions.” So, here I am writing.

What is your calling? What is near to your heart? What does God talk to you about?

The 5 minute writing prompt this Friday was “near”. Still connecting with Kate and the gang at 5 Minute Friday, even though this is more than 5 minutes and it’s already Saturday. Thanks for following along.

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slide11I get the feeling that I am supposed to write. Most of the time when I start to write I’m not sure that I have anything to say, but after a few keystrokes it just starts to flow and I just type and listen to what my heart has to share. Often I write and erase, write and erase again, even when I’m doing a 5 minute free write where the rule is to just write with no thought for where it is worth reading. The times that I just write from the heart are the times that I really say something worth hearing. These are the times when I go back to read it and don’t know where those words came from. Sometimes the phrases are quotes that I would frame and post if it came from someone else. However, since it’s my own writing I don’t take as much care to share it that way. I know that there are a lot of things in my heart and on my mind that people would appreciate hearing. So, I continue to step out of my comfort zone little by little and say a bit more each time. The words come from such a deep place in my heart that it can be difficult to get them out. It takes time in a quiet room, free of distractions other than my favorite songs playing softly on Pandora. Often, the most difficult part of writing can be finding that time and space just to begin. So, here I am writing for just 5 minutes the things that are on my heart and mind regarding the topic for today: “write”. Where would you write? What would you write about? What is on your heart to share?

Connecting again today with Five Minute Friday and Write 31 Days for 31 days of Five Minute Free Write Challenges during the month of October. We write on a given prompt for just 5 minutes without revision and pour out what’s on our heart. Won’t you join me?

431402_3151896518285_2022565788_nWhat I remember best are the stories my Dad loved to tell every year when we would go to his family reunion. We would drive around town and listen to him describe his childhood in vivid detail. The store that his grandfather owned, where his mother worked, may not longer be standing, but in his memory it is just as much there as it was the day he first saw it. The house down the street that he and his dad caught on fire while trying to help get rid of a beehive sits in his memory as clearly as if he were still standing in the smoke. The day we moved into our first new house and my brother had to ride the bus home from school to a new place without warning is something he still sees in the back of his mind clearly enough to smell the exhaust as the bus drove away. The house off Throckmorton Highway where he lived with his parents and uncles still shares a place in his mind as clearly as the day his first grade teacher had to drive him home after the school bus purposely left him behind. The thing that will live forever in my memory is the sound of my Dads voice and the smell of his original Chapstick as he poured out his heart and relived those memories every time he was given an opportunity. I will always remember the love in his voice when he talked about his family and the life they created for him. Thankfully, my Dad is still around and still remembers these stories and many more. I can’t wait for the next chance to sit with him just to listen and remember.

Connecting again today with Five Minute Friday and Write 31 Days for 31 days of Five Minute Free Write Challenges during the month of October. We write on a given prompt for just 5 minutes without revision and pour out what’s on our heart. Won’t you join me?

40a417254dbfb048d3d24701e5a115a6--heart-quotes-bible-quotesMother Teresa says that listening is the beginning of prayer. Throughout the Bible, God says be still and listen. We all seek to find truth and answers in a variety of places in our lives, but we actually just need to be silent and wait for those answers to find us. God is waiting for us to listen so that He can give us the answers to life’s difficulties. He is always there, ready to direct us toward the very thing we are seeking. Listening takes silencing our selves, not just verbally, but also internally. Often our inner communication is stronger than our outer voice. We listen to ourselves make rationalizations and excuses for everything in our lives, when what we should be doing is listening to the truth that only comes from Him. What is it going to take for you and I to get silent and listen?

Connecting again today with Five Minute Friday and Write 31 Days for 31 days of Five Minute Free Write Challenges during the month of October. We write on a given prompt for just 5 minutes without revision and pour out what’s on our heart. Won’t you join me?

storyMy story is no different from the story of many others, yet we all think our story is unique and somehow more difficult than those around us. This myth is perpetuated by silence. Keeping our story to ourselves in order to protect it from the world gives it an air of mystery. It also lends it to holding more weight and having greater strength over us. Holding on to the most painful parts keep us at arms length from others who have cried the same tears and lived the same shadow, afraid to life their eyes and hearts to a God who can heal their deepest wounds. Our stories were given to us by a loving Father who desires to use them to help us grow, and in so doing, use us to help others spread their wings and fly above the fears of suffering and rejection that haunt them until we are obedient to His direction. Who is waiting to hear your story? Who is withholding a story that could help you to rise above and soar on wings of power over your past?

Connecting again today with Five Minute Friday and Write 31 Days for 31 days of Five Minute Free Write Challenges during the month of October. We write on a given prompt for just 5 minutes without revision and pour out what’s on our heart. Won’t you join me?

s719512059517668958_p372_i1_w1202When I hear the word trust, the first thing that comes to mind is Psalm 3, verses 4-5, which says “trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” What an awesome statement of who God is and what He does for us each time we put our trust in Him. So, why is it so hard to let go and place that trust with Him? Who else deserves our faith and trust than the only true God, the author and finisher of our faith? Trust for some of us has been tainted by our past hurts which cause us to rely more on temporary feelings than on our heavenly Father who sent His only son to die for us so that we might have eternal life. What amazing things He has done for us, and yet we choose to put our faith in mankind over our God at times. Interesting how every time we make this mistake, we run back to His open arms and He is still waiting for us as ready to love us and heal us as He was before we turned our back on Him. Our God is faithful and true. None is more worthy of our trust than Him.

Connecting again today with Five Minute Friday and Write 31 Days for 31 days of Five Minute Free Write Challenges during the month of October. We write on a given prompt for just 5 minutes without revision and pour out what’s on our heart. Won’t you join me?

896e6af298f71c631956d3b120acda05--jeremiah---favorite-bible-versesA few years ago my best friend was going through a rough time, her career path had taken a difficult turn over and again, leaving her to struggle and raise her daughter in a manner that was not the level that she had fought her whole life to achieve. She had reinvented herself, relying on God to provide hope for her future, by getting her real estate license, then a few years later the mortgage industry went through a significant struggle and she yet again found herself going back to school. This time to become a classroom teacher. After getting her degree and teaching certification she worked as a substitute for two years before finally getting her big break and being offered a position as a second grade teacher. It was an exciting and scary time as we spent her birthday that year at the teacher store buying materials to decorate her room. As a gift I bought her an owl key chain with Jeremiah 29:11 inscribed on it, assuring her to God had a plan for her future. Four months later she passed away unexpectedly. Every time I see that verse I think of her and the hope she had that God was taking care of her and her family. God has not failed to care for her family and provide for them a future. Her legacy of hope lies in the heart of her daughter who will continue to take her mothers memory with her and will share it with her children. God gives a hope for a future that may not always be what we expect, but in the end will bring us closer to him.

 

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