Personal Blog by Rhonda Crowdis Hardisty

Broken Heart

Often people who are broken hearted from the loss of a friend or loved one due to a negative situation find themselves lashing out at the person who hurt them. The truth is both are usually hurt and lashing out does not help either side feel better or resolve the conflict. The more lashing out there is the more pieces the heart is broken into.

I have found myself in this situation at least one time in my life, probably more, but I vividly remember fights of this nature that I had with my children’s father, my first husband. We were so young and found ourselves hurting each other in an attempt to keep ourselves from hurting. These are not fond memories, but I embrace them as a learning experience.

Today, I catch myself taking the time to stop and think before making similar mistakes in current relationships. I also find myself trying to keep my children from making similar mistakes.

The Bible says the tongue is sharper than a two edged sword and just because no weapon formed against us will prosper does not mean we will not get hurt in the attack. Lashing out hurts not only the person under attack, but also the person on attack.

We all regret these actions at some point and should strive to keep ourselves from going this direction at all cost. This becomes easier when we know that blessing them, rather than curing them, puts us at an advantage in God‘s eyes. The Bible says in Luke 6 that loving those who love us makes us no better than anyone else, but loving those who curse and despitefully use us provides a treasure in heaven which is so much more important than any treasure here on earth.

By giving rather than taking we are building up not only the person who hurt us, but ourselves as well.

I have also found that letting it go makes it end so much sooner than holding on. We often hear it said, “Let go, and let God.” I will say it again here. We cannot change things in other people. By reacting to them in a negative way we make ourselves look bad, possibly even worse than the person who took the first stab. By ignoring them and moving on, we not only look better in the long run, but we feel better more quickly.

Sometimes it’s ok to know the truth and not share it. Not everyone cares as much about your truth as you do at that moment, and they may balk at hearing it. The sooner you learn to just let it roll off your back, the sooner you will be back to focusing on the positive and important things in life.

Only you can mend your broken heart. Only you can decide to pick up the pieces and make a difference in your life. Don’t allow someone else to try to make those decisions for you.

 

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Comments on: "Broken Heart" (4)

  1. […] Broken Heart (ourcrowdedheart.wordpress.com) […]

  2. I think it was Ireneaus, an ancient philosopher that once said that it isn’t ‘the thing’ that creates so much difficulty…it is our reaction to ‘the thing’ that causes so much trouble. Lots to say about this..but I’ll let it simmer 🙂 thanks Rhonda. Good stuff!

    • So true, Scott. I have spent years trying to teach that principle to my daughters. One in particular reacts too quickly and often in a negative manner which almost always has the opposite effect of what she expected. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Good post. I absolutely appreciate this site. Thanks!

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