Personal Blog by Rhonda Crowdis Hardisty

Archive for May, 2012

The Heart of a Marriage

I have noticed people talking about the state of their marriages on social media/networking sites. The primary complaint is that they are “not happy”.

My husband often responds to these posts with comments that marriage is something you work at, not something you give up on when the happiness fades.

Having been in an unhappy marriage myself for 10 years I understand the frustration, but I never considered getting out of the marriage as being a solution to my unhappiness.

In fact, I had the one out provided in the Bible: infidelity. However, I searched the Bible to make sure it was not a requirement that I divorce my husband based on his infidelity. I chose to work through our issues, not his issues, our issues.

I prayed for God to change me, not him. I prayed for God to show me how to be a better wife and helper. Every time I wanted to cry, I prayed. Every time I wanted to yell, I prayed. Every time I wanted to slam a door, I prayed.

It’s amazing how much better our lives became when I stopped crying, yelling and slamming doors!

Very often people go into a relationship with the idea that there are things they like about a person, and things they can change! I thought this same way when I got married at 21.

Only God can change them, and if you are not happy with them the way they are while you are dating, you will certainly not be happy with them a year later when the honeymoon ends and the work begins.

God must be the center of your relationship; the heart! I have done this the wrong way and am now working at doing it the right way.

I now have a wonderful husband who I met in high school and spent 20 years away from before he found me on a social networking site and circumstances put us together through the grace of God.

We both realize that marriage is a job, it’s not a vacation. It doesn’t work unless God is the center; the HEART of the marriage. We don’t agree on everything, but we do agree that taking it to God is what He wants. Sometimes, things are resolved just in the process of giving it to God. He is good! All the time.

If you are struggling in your marriage, give it over to God. Only He can heal your wounded heart and put back together the peices of your brokeness.

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Heartfelt Blog Tour: Coming Soon!

My youngest daughter read the book, A Princess Broken by Misty Gatlin and has written a review of the book as part of the official blog tour coinciding with the release of the book on June 1.

We are scheduled to post this review on June 27th. Don’t miss it!

Please join us in following the tour across multiple blogs in various cities in countries around the world. Here is a link to Misty’s blog tour calendar:  http://wp.me/p1usWw-q1

The book is available at www.Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com, and it can also be purchased through her website MistyGatlin.com.  It is available in all major eBook formats as well.

Heart of the Family: My Dad

I spent the weekend at a Family Reunion in a small rural town in North Texas where my father and his parents grew up.

Every year we remember those who have not made it through another year and typically visit their grave site.

The family plot sits just outside of town on a piece of land that once belonged to my Great Grandparents, or so my Dad tells us.

He knows every one who ever lived in that little town, or so it seems, and he has never met a stranger. He is one of the most giving people you could imagine.

We talked about getting his stories on paper someday before he is no longer around to tell them.

WAIT! That’s not possible. MY DAD will ALWAYS be around to tell those old stories.

He’s told them to me hundreds of time, and to my children as well. So much that I now tell the stories myself as we drive through town.

Certainly, he will still be around to tell those stories to my grand children when they are old enough to understand, won’t he?

My Dad is not only important to me, but to everyone in the family. He’s the key that keeps it going. He is the heart of our family, and I cannot imagine anyone who would disagree.

Everyone I talk to in this small town, family and friends alike tell me how fortunate I am to have grown up with him as my father.

I have to admit there have been times when I didn’t know what I would have done without him.

4 years of college as a single parent with my Dad making sure the electricity stayed on; buying my first house with the money my Dad gave me for a graduation gift;  enrolling my daughters for college with my Dad’s credit card.

These things were important, but those are not the things that make my Dad the heart of the family:

  • He may be stubborn and passed that trait on to me, but he always means well.
  • He always make a point of telling you that he is proud of you. He not only makes this point with my siblings and I, but my cousins, my friends; everyone he knows.
  • He tells you like it is. He often waxes philosophical when he sits you down for a talk.
  • He remembers the good old days as well as the bad. Things have not always gone in his favor, but he has always trusted that things would work out in the end.
  • He has instilled in all of us the duty of supporting our families and keeping God first.

I plan to have him take me on a tour of his hometown next May when we return so that I can finally get his stories on tape.

I don’t always remember the details, but when he tells it the story never changes. He tells the story every time as if he lived it yesterday.

Having those stories in his voice will keep him alive for generations after he is gone so that they too will have the pleasure of learning from the heart of the family.

Super Mom at Heart

Ok, so I am neglecting my blog a little this month. I have a LOT going on!

The most important things are two little boys added to my household around Easter. They are amazing little men of God, but they are also 3 and 5 years old.

The boys I have taken in have a very loving mother who just needs a little extra support to get things moving in the right direction for their future.

I presented her with an opportunity to go back to school and make a life for herself and her children that God would want for them, and one that she would be proud to live.

So, while I am at work my oldest daughter, who is a stay at home mother of a one year old, also cares for the 3-year-old and the 5-year-old. She is quickly learning that she only wants one child. Lol.

I am still working on getting things in line to register the 5-year-old for Kindergarten. He is so excited. He is very much looking forward to going to school in August.

I have also lined up a summer full of events for us all. The zoo, museum’s, a possible trip to the beach in Galveston for a day, a trip to Oklahoma next month to see family and a cool aquarium, a day trip to the Dinosaur park in Glenrose, and much more.

In addition to the boys and the fun-filled summer, I am hoping to teach 16 hours a week in our Extended School Year program for special needs students.

I had 4 students last summer that I thoroughly enjoyed and the job paid for my husband and I to take an anniversary trip to Las Vegas and Laughlin, NV for 5 days.

I have been asked to co-author a book with a friend of mine who is graduating from college this month and am really looking forward to diving in to that project.

Another friend has a daughter who just made the drill team at the school where I currently teach, and has asked for my input and support on fundraising since she and I were instrumental in raising funds when our older daughters were on another drill team together a few years ago.

I really want to work on another degree, but first I need to finish requirements towards sitting for the test to become a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (“BCBA“).

I completed the academic portion in December after 4 semesters of course work in Applied Behavior Analysis. I am now lacking the supervised hours of actually using my knowledge.

So, I am looking for a teaching position in behavior support where I will be supervised by a BCBA who is willing to sign off on my hours after a full school year. Believe it or not, this part is much harder that I ever expected it to be.

I really don’t want to change school districts because of insurance, and I need to work in a Title One school so that my TEACH grant doesn’t become a loan.

Throw 5 kids, 2 grand babies, a husband and my parents into the mix and I stay busy, but I love every minute of it.

I just want to be able to do it ALL, and do it well. Is that too much to ask?

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