Personal Blog by Rhonda Crowdis Hardisty

I have noticed people talking about the state of their marriages on social media/networking sites. The primary complaint is that they are “not happy”.

My husband often responds to these posts with comments that marriage is something you work at, not something you give up on when the happiness fades.

Having been in an unhappy marriage myself for 10 years I understand the frustration, but I never considered getting out of the marriage as being a solution to my unhappiness.

In fact, I had the one out provided in the Bible: infidelity. However, I searched the Bible to make sure it was not a requirement that I divorce my husband based on his infidelity. I chose to work through our issues, not his issues, our issues.

I prayed for God to change me, not him. I prayed for God to show me how to be a better wife and helper. Every time I wanted to cry, I prayed. Every time I wanted to yell, I prayed. Every time I wanted to slam a door, I prayed.

It’s amazing how much better our lives became when I stopped crying, yelling and slamming doors!

Very often people go into a relationship with the idea that there are things they like about a person, and things they can change! I thought this same way when I got married at 21.

Only God can change them, and if you are not happy with them the way they are while you are dating, you will certainly not be happy with them a year later when the honeymoon ends and the work begins.

God must be the center of your relationship; the heart! I have done this the wrong way and am now working at doing it the right way.

I now have a wonderful husband who I met in high school and spent 20 years away from before he found me on a social networking site and circumstances put us together through the grace of God.

We both realize that marriage is a job, it’s not a vacation. It doesn’t work unless God is the center; the HEART of the marriage. We don’t agree on everything, but we do agree that taking it to God is what He wants. Sometimes, things are resolved just in the process of giving it to God. He is good! All the time.

If you are struggling in your marriage, give it over to God. Only He can heal your wounded heart and put back together the peices of your brokeness.


Comments on: "The Heart of a Marriage" (8)

  1. You make some wonderful points. It reminded me of a post I wrote some time ago about 50th wedding anniversaries, more from the “work..really? There’s work to be done?” angle…If you’d like, you can find it here.

  2. Have you read Gary Thomas’ book “Sacred Marriage: What if God designed marriage to make us Holy more than to make us happy.” Wonderful book. Great post I enjoyed your points and perspective. Marriage is work and can be hard but the fruit of our labor and His grace is worth it all!

  3. Want to say, I love the points you make about marriage & your sharing your situations. Prayer that God will change us first is key.

  4. Thank you for your input. I appreciate the feedback. I will be looking for both books as will my sister who is always looking for good parenting and marriage resources.

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