When I was 16 I worked at a theme park in one of the live performance theatres and became friends with some of the performers with whom I worked. We often had to deal with girls who thought they were in love with the performers and the performers were in love with them. We called them “groupie’s”
They would spend entire days, even weeks, watching every show then waiting after the show for the performers to sneak out the back for a break. They thought they were so important and special because they knew these important people.
The year before I worked at this Theatre, I was a minor player in the groupie game myself. I was so jealous of these girls who knew these “famous” people so well. I felt like they were so much better than me because these important people loved them.
No one important loved me.
My mother was sick all the time and when she wasn’t in bed she was very angry and difficult to be around. Nothing I did was good enough for her. My sister was always more important. She was the baby of the family and needed more attention.
My Dad traveled nearly every week, and he had a new life with my step mother that only involved me every other weekend and one week a month. My brother lived with them and must have taken up the time my Dad would have had to spend with me.
My Aunts went to my cousins basketball games, but no one ever came to mine. I wasn’t a starter like my cousin. I was just a first alternate and didn’t have the stats she had. I guess I wasn’t athletic enough for them to come all that way to see my games.
My brother and sister had their own lives to live. My brother was a sports star, in just about every sport, and had more friends than I could imagine. Every girl in school wanted to be his girlfriend. My sister was very outgoing and confident. They didn’t have time for a shy, quiet middle sister who would just slow them down.
No one important loved me.
Looking back now I see how wrong I was, and how wrong those girls were to think, first, that those performers cared much for them at all, and secondly that no one important loved them.
So many girls are ready to give up their most precious gift to a guy who has done little more than speak to them because it was the first time someone treated them like they were important. He may have only said “Hello,” but it made her feel so wanted and no longer alone that she was willing to give up everything just to keep that feeling alive.
Joyce Meyer writes, “He is our Refuge, our High Tower, our Strength, our Stronghold in times of trouble and our Hiding Place (see Psalm 9:9; 31:4; 32:7; 37:39; 46:11). Our worth, value, acceptance and approval come from Him. As long as we have those, we have the most valuable things in the world.”
We as parents have to train our children that God is the giver of that which they so long for. Only He can give them the peace within their heart and that unconditional love. He must be their refuge and their strength. He must be the one they call out for in the middle of the night when they wake up from a bad dream or when they are living in one. He must be their comfort and source of identity.
We have to teach them how to truly have a personal relationship with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Knowing that He exists and cares for them is not having a personal relationship with Him. They have to talk to Him! They have to long for His comfort and strength. They have to believe that all things come from Him; He is their comfort and the lifter of their head.
We as parents must model that for them. We must daily confess for our children to hear that God alone is our comfort. We must show them that even if we are struggling with divorce or loss of a spouse, we are not unloved and lonely. God is our source of identity. We must be the love of Christ to them and through them. We may be the only God they ever see and know until they realize they need to know Him too.
I knew that Jesus loved me. I had sung that song since I was old enough to talk, but it was not until after I was out of high school that I began to cultivate a true relationship with Him. I waited until I was married with three children in my early 20’s to seek that close relationship with my Father God. It was born from, of all things, a need to be loved, and finding my one true love in Jesus.
Someone important loves me!!
- Confessions From My Teenaged Heart: Mr. 8 (ourcrowdedheart.wordpress.com)