Parenting from the Heart: Choices


As a parent I have spent 20+ years teaching my children to make the right choices, often having to make hard choices for them. I will never forget when one of them began to run with the wrong crowd after having been rejected by a group they thought were their friends. It was heart breaking for her and I both. As a Senior in High School, she was still at an age where I needed to step in before things went too far awry. So, I took her car away for three months and began to pray like I had never prayed before. I am so thankful for the work God has done in her life since that day.

Today, my girls are all adults in their twenties. They still have hard choices to face on a daily basis; some more difficult than others. As a parent, I still find myself wanting to take those choices off their hands and make then myself. However, I have seen the consequences of parents continuing to do for their children into adulthood and it’s not a good result.

Our children will always be our children, but they will not always be kids. They rely on us to teach them how to become productive adults who make a positive contribution to society. That is our job; not making them comfortable, making them productive!

Part of making them productive is teaching them to obey the voice of the Lord. Teach them how to hear it for themselves, not to rely on you to interpret God’s word for them. God wants our children to inherit His kingdom on their own. We cannot hand it to them, and by trying to we might actually cause them to miss it all together.

Teach your children to make their own choices, suffer their own consequences, and hear the voice of the Lord so clearly that they can discern His will for themselves. When they leave High school as adults, realize that phase of your parenting is over. From that point forward you are a sounding board in their lives, not a decision maker. Trust God to be their decision maker. that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”


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