Have you ever felt like you were not good enough for some of the people in your life? Like nothing you did ever measured up? Do you have family or friends who make you feel like you are under-dressed, over-weight, and under-employed to be accepted by them? Do they do things for the family or in your place of work that you only wish you could do?
They take everyone’s kids to the zoo every year, or throw the best parties, or bring the most expensive or coolest gifts to your children’s birthdays; things for which you feel you can never repay them or measure up. You feel like your best is not good enough. You believe you are talked about behind your back and whispered about in private conversations; they look at you and laugh.
These may be people who you believe do everything to get on your last nerve. These are people who seem to go out of their way to steal your thunder, if you have an iPhone, they have an iPhone 2. If you live in an apartment, they live in a house. If your hair is long, they have the cutest short cut; if you have a short hair cut, they have the most beautiful long hair. If you teach Sunday school, they teach Sunday school for the homeless.
I too have felt this way. In fact, most of my childhood I felt as is I was not good enough for a lot of my family, especially after my parents divorce. I had family who attended my cousins sporting events, but not mine. I had a parents who spent more time with my siblings than with me. I did not have grandparents with whom I could go spend long weekends. I had cousins who knew my other cousins better than they knew me.
I also felt this way throughout my school years. Regardless of how nice my clothes were or how many friends I had, there was always someone who seemed to have everything that I did not have. They had parents who stayed home, but mine worked. They had cute hair cuts, while I had long, stringy hair. They had nice cars while I drove an older model. They were not afraid to speak up for themselves and others, while I was afraid of my own shadow. They could read better, run faster, and do back handsprings across the playground.
The truth is that these feelings and beliefs are just that; our feelings and our beliefs. They are based on our own perception, not reality.
The truth is most likely your family loves you and would do anything for you, but don’t always know what they can do or should do to make you happy. When they try to help with your children or give me something, you assume they are feeling sorry for you or trying to prove they are better.
The truth is that most of us put on our one nice set of clothing and spend extra time on our hair when we are going to be around people who we want to impress; people who we think we need to prove ourselves to. It’s not that they thought they were better, they were trying to live up to our standard, not put us down.
The truth is they dislike their job as much as we do, but would never let us know they were not happy.
The truth is they are too self conscious to eat another helping of mashed potatoes at a family gathering, and are jealous that you are confident enough in yourself to eat what you want.
The truth is most of the time when we think someone is talking about us, we are the farthest thing from their mind. They just happen to glance our way at the moment they make a face because of Aunt Sally‘s awful dessert they just bit into.
The truth is they have gifts in certain areas where we do not. Therefore, we are self-conscious of our lack in that area. One the other hand, we have our own gifting’s and are not aware that we may make others self-conscious as well.
The truth is the grass is always greener on the other side and we never really know what someone else is going through and what feelings and beliefs they too are fighting on a daily basis.
The truth is God has not given us a spirit of fear and inadequacy. He has given us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
These truths have set my heart free from feelings of inadequacy and I pray they will help set you free as well.
- Foolish Heart (ourcrowdedheart.wordpress.com)